Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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