yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
