She announced her abortion via fbk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You left your phone here
Wait...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize