I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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