He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
