Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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