as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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