I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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