He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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