yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
