If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
