also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
how drunk are you?
Several
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
