Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
