Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize