We won't sleep together?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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