and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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