Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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