hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
