You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
