She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
