Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize