Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize