the condom got lost in my hair
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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