Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
