did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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