Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
