I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
