I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
