You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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