i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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