I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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