It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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