WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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