I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
