And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
