I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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