Please, let me fuck your mom
I could make wine with my vomit
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize