Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
