All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
