I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
