I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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