in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
