we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize