Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found your dick twin last night
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
