This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
