Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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