i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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