He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
