Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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