im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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