I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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