I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
