i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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