GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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