So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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