dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
