He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
