I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
